Silver Lining

A loving community finding the silver lining.

Love yourself

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One thing that I struggle with the most is believing in myself. I often end up comparing myself to others a lot. This I feel like affects the way others see me. I am often shy or awkward in public situations. Not to mention, public speaking, to me, is a nightmare. But I have learned to deal with this and start to see that I should believe in myself. One quote that really resonates with me, especially when I am feeling down, is “if you don’t believe in yourself then no one will”. This quote is really blunt I guess but it does remind me to believe in myself. You know what I have come to realize is that believe in yourself is a really important part of being successful. Like the quote says if you don’t present yourself as confident, nobody is going to want to trust you in whatever you are trying to do. For example, you are trying to pitch a business idea but you don’t think yourself as worth or don’t think your pitch is good enough. This will show off in your performance. I this took me quite a while to learn…. Maybe some of you already know this. To be honest, I actually knew that I had to be confident but there is a difference between knowing it in your head versus knowing it in your heart. I have just recently started to actually believe in myself. It is never too late 🙂 Love yourself ❤ I promise you will thank yourself later 🙂
-Pizza

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Short Story

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A young violin prodigy was walking down the street one day trying to decide whether or not to pursue a life in music when he came upon the most famous violin teacher in the world. Scarcely believing his luck, he stopped the great teacher and asked if he could play for him, thinking he would abandon his dream of a career in music if the great teacher told him he was wasting his time.

The greater teacher nodded silently for him to begin. So he played, beads of sweat soon appearing on his forehead, and when he finished, he was certain he’d given his finest performance. But the great maestro only shook his head sadly and said, “You lack the fire.”

The young musician was devastated. Nevertheless, he returned home and announced his intention to abandon the violin. Instead, he entered the world of business and turned out to have such a talent for it that in a few short years he found himself richer than he’d ever imagined possible.

Almost a decade later he found himself walking down another street in another city when he happened to spot the great teacher again. He rushed over to him. “I’m so sorry to bother you,” he said, “and I’m sure you don’t remember me, but I stopped you on the street years ago to play my violin for you, and I just want to thank you. Because of your advice, I abandoned my greatest love, the violin, painful as it was, and became a businessman and today enjoy great success, which I owe all to you. But one thing you must tell me: how did you know I didn’t have what it takes? How did you know all those years ago I lacked the fire?”

The great teacher shook his head sadly and said only, “You don’t understand. I tell everyone who plays for me they lack the fire. If you had the fire, you wouldn’t have listened.”
Story from Telling Lies for Fun & Profit: A Manual for Fiction Writers by Lawrence Block

The World Will Value You, Only as Much as You Value Yourself.

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There is a kindness in your eyes,

Always hidden by dark lenses.

It blackens your world by only a shade,

But hides the beauty

Waiting inside

A tenderness in the wonder,

Behind those eyes

You have so much to give the world

Yet Held back only by your own worries of self worth

Do not think that you aren’t good enough,

Because acceptance starts with yourself.

The world will value you,

Only as much as you value yourself.

Nobody Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent

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Sometimes, bullies get to us. From a young age, we were all taught to ignore those making fun of us or “laugh it off.” Teachers and parents constantly told us to “ignore them” “tell them to leave you alone” or “walk away” and they all are great temporary solutions. It is not until we realize that nobody can make you feel like you deserve all those rude comments unless we let them. Confidence plays a major role in this. We have to know who we are if we want to be confident.

There have been multiple experiences in my life where I have been put down by someone else. In fifth grade, someone (a friend, nonetheless) told me that my naturally curly hair looked like a frizzy triangle on my head. After that day, I always wore my hair in a ponytail. In sixth grade, someone told me that my ponytails looked boring and dull. After that day, I always wore my hair in a braid or bun. In seventh grade, someone told me that my leggings were ugly and that I should wear jeans instead. After that day, I tortured myself to wear dark skinny jeans to school (but gave up after a week).

Those experiences definitely did not help my confidence. They made me feel less confident about myself. Soon, I realized that just because those people believed those things, does not mean that I have to believe those things too. After that day, I wore my hair however I wanted to. In freshman year of high school, I wore my naturally curly hair down for the first time since fifth grade. I found a way to wear leggings in way that made me want to take pictures of my outfits like how I saw inspirational models or actors do. I no longer worried about what others thought about me, just what I thought of myself. I did not let them make me feel inferior, and that definitely attributed to my confidence.

How to Feel Confident

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    1. Take care of yourself–Being healthy is always important; keep your health safe and you will be safe 🙂
    2. Smile!–Who doesn’t like to see that beautiful, gleaming smile?!
    3. People believe in you!–There are people everywhere complimenting things that you may feel self conscience about. They all believe in you, and you should too!
    4. You matter–Don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t matter because every part of you does.

 

  • Remember: You are beautiful

 

 

Confidence

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“Confidence is something you create within yourself by believing in who you are” –Anonymous

 

I cannot tell if being confident is something I struggle with. At times, my confidence level is extreme, and I feel as if I can do anything. Other times, however, I refuse to walk into a room alone or speak up when I know I should. So I guess there is no better time to ask: What is confidence? According to Google, confidence is a feeling of belief or the certainty in truth. As long as you believe in something strong enough, you will feel confident in the task. In most cases, that “something” is us. Often times, we do not believe in ourselves, therefore we are not confident. That can change as long as we tell ourselves to believe and trust ourselves and the ones who care about us.

Everyone has insecurities. I know I have mine. Yet we all are able to walk into a room with our heads held high and speak our mind. We are confident in ourselves. Some friends of mine often admire how confident I am about myself. But the truth is, I’m not. It is hard to be confident all the time, maybe even impossible. There are always factors that put us down. But it is up to us to get back up. No one can give your confidence to you. Sure, it can be fueled by compliments and friends, but you must believe in yourself to be confident in yourself.  

 

Trust your close friends!

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Trust your close friends!

I’ve had a lot of close friends in the past, but a lot of those friendships failed in some way. Those failed friendships made me reluctant to tell my friends how I feel a lot of the time. Whenever I do, it makes me vulnerable, and I’m always worried about whether or not I was right to tell them, because what if this friendship fails somehow too?

I once had a falling out with some friends I’d been with for a long time, and it was really bad. It felt like we couldn’t even be friends after that. I was so angry, but more than that, I was mournful. I didn’t feel like I’d lost a friend, I felt like someone had died–my friendship with them. I was terrified because I couldn’t even fathom the thought of losing any more friends, especially friends who had been so good to me in the past.

During this time, I was talking to another friend pretty often. She who wasn’t involved, and I tried to act like nothing was wrong, but I couldn’t keep pretending I was fine. So I told her everything. I told her what happened with my friends, how I was terrified and so regretful, why it affected me so much, and by the end, I felt so vulnerable, but so free at the same time.

She understood why I was upset, gave me advice, told me that everything would be okay, and helped me cheer up. I could tell she was trying her best, and that in itself made me feel better because it made me realize that I shouldn’t just close myself off just because I’m scared of losing a friend. It sucks to lose a friend, but what sucks even more is having friends who seem like they care for you so much but still being unable to tell them anything because you’re afraid. Friendships are built on trust, your closest friends should be those you trust most. So if you can’t even trust your friends, who can you trust?