Silver Lining

A loving community finding the silver lining.

Challenge of the Week: Deep Conversation

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Challenge Recap: Talking to Others

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How was it? How was your experience in speaking to several people at once?

Speaking has never been easy for me, so I wanted to share my own past experiences in speaking. It always feels hard for me to get the words out without stuttering and getting nervous, and I usually have to fight the butterflies in my stomach down when I’m speaking and everyone’s looking at me. When I’m speaking it feels awful, and I want nothing more than for that moment to be over. However, I find that it’s always worth it when I see people smiling at me and nodding in agreement.

The Road Not Taken…

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Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

 

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

 

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

 

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Be bold

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Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

 

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

 

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

 

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

5 Tips on Speaking to People

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  1. Stand up straight and tall with your chin parallel to the floor. 
    1. As stated earlier this month, posture can really help boost your confidence
  1. Speak with an even, moderately paced tone
    1. Don’t speak too quickly or too slowly, because it can confuse the people you’re talking to. Also keep your tone of voice natural; speak with a normal speaking voice
  2. Keep a calm expression
    1. Speaking to a lot of people can be very hard, but being calm (or at least looking calm) can gain you a lot of respect from those you’re talking to.
  3. Don’t act in a different way
    1. A lot of people become extremely nervous when having to talk to a lot of people, and they act differently, which can make them come off as strange. Just act as you normally would.
  4. Remember that even if you mess up while speaking, mistakes are okay.
    1. People are forgiving, so if you mess up slightly, they won’t be upset. They will give you a second chance, so please give yourself chances too!

Don’t be afraid to talk to others :)

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Ever since I was little, I was always worried about speaking to people. I constantly worried (and still do worry!) that I would say something wrong and be horribly judged for it. So I never really said much as a child. Whenever I played games with my friends, they were always the ones to choose the game and what I would do in the game because I rarely objected. There were a lot of times that I wasn’t having much fun because of this, but I was too nervous to say anything, so I only objected when I truly did not want to do something. I lived this way until the 4th grade, when I made two friends who really wanted me to tell them what I thought about the games we played. They always worried about me and whether or not I was having fun. For a while, I still didn’t say much, until one day when one of them said, “Please tell me if you’re having fun. It really matters a lot to me whether my friends are having fun.” It really encouraged me to start giving my opinion more in things. She made me realize that my real friends wouldn’t stop being friends with me so easily. Today, I still worry a lot about what I say, but now I’m not afraid to give me opinion.

Challenge of the week

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Last week of Confidence Month! Talk to a large group of people about anything you want. It can really help you step out and be more comfortable around others, and make you more used to being around crowds.


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Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Definition: severe, ongoing anxiety that interferes with daily activities

 

Symptoms:

  • persistent worries about small or large concerns that are out of proportion to their actual impact. Most people with generalized anxiety disorder realize that their worries are unrealistic.
  • inability to relax and let go of worries; feeling keyed up and on the edge
  • difficulty concentrating or feeling like your mind “goes blank”
  • worrying about worrying too much
  • indecisiveness, worrying about making the wrong decision
  • physical symptoms: fatigue, irritability, muscle tension/aches, trembling, nervous, insomnia, sweating, nausea, bowel problems, headaches
  • symptoms specific to children and teens:
    • excessive need/desire to fit in
    • perfectionism
    • lack of confidence and constant need for reassurance and approval
    • spending excessive time doing homework

 

Statistics:

  • Prevalence: very common; more than 3 million cases a year in the United States alone.
  • GAD affects twice as many women as men
  • People are most at risk for GAD between childhood and middle age, and the disorder usually develops gradually

 

How to feel better:

  • Exercise: Even if you don’t feel like it, try to get yourself moving, whether you’re taking a walk or playing a game of basketball with a friend. Exercise is a potent stress-reliever and can help elevate your mood, helping alleviate your feelings of anxiety.
  • Avoid alcohol, smoking, and coffee: sedatives like alcohol, nicotine and caffeine can make your anxiety worse.
  • Sleep: Make getting enough sleep a priority – it should be as important, if not more so, that getting good grades or doing other work. Sleep deprivation can lead to a slew of negative consequences, including impaired focus, coordination, and learning; higher blood pressure and risk for heart disease; and greater anxiety and depression. All around, you’re better off going to bed and getting the sleep you need than staying up those extra hours cramming for that chemistry test.
  • Face your worries: This doesn’t mean actually going out and doing whatever is scaring you, but it’s important to sit down with yourself once in a while and productively think about your worries. Go over the list of things that are giving your anxiety and ask yourself if those problems are solvable. If the problem is solvable, start thinking about solutions, and get ready to implement those solutions if necessary. If it’s not, that’s okay too. It’s not possible to be certain about everything that happens in your life, and uncertainty doesn’t mean something bad will happen. Everything will be just fine. 🙂
  • Professional Help: When all else fails, don’t be afraid to seek out professional help. Seeing a psychiatrist isn’t shameful – it’s smart. You’re getting the help you need and deserve, and you’ll feel better soon.

 

Additional Links and Sources for this Article:

Challenge Recap…

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Did you lend a helping hand? How did it feel to you? How did they react? Were you surprised? Share how it went! We love to hear feedback!

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What I’ve Become

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When I hold my jar of dreams

In my hands, my palms sweaty.

The dancing lights swallow the night,

As a mirror flies my kite,

The gentle waves change roaring tides

and shaking trees leave me to hide;

A swan slows down to calm the pulse

The crow escaped, feeling repulsed.

A ripple wakens me from sleep

Not holding back, I take a leap.

The sun is up, the time has come,

To show the world